I want to love Jesus.
I want Him to be enough for me.
I want to know it in my head and feel it in my heart.
And yet, sometimes I go through these periods where I feel so far from Jesus. Where it is such a struggle for me to believe that Jesus really sees me, and knows me, and loves me. And then sometimes I have these moments where Jesus is so real to me. I have to admit that these moments where Jesus feels so near that I could reach out and touch him, these moments don’t happen as often. I know that Jesus is present with me always, but when I get to have these rare moments of closeness with Him, I feel so overwhelmed with thankfulness.
I had one of these moments a few nights ago. I was at a worship concert with All Songs & Daughters. I sang one line of a song and it was the end of me. It might not seem profound to you but in that moment it broke me. The line is simply this: “It’s your breath in our lungs so we pour out our praise to You.” It’s that simple. But here’s the thing…
It’s His breath that I breathe into my lungs. This life is not mine. It was given to me as a gift and it can be taken away. It’s not my right to breathe. It isn’t my right to have this life. It’s all His. And with His breath that I breathe into my lungs, will I praise Him?
I’ve been reminded in the last few weeks how fragile this life can be and how things can change so fast. I don’t want to spend my days forgetting or neglecting that it’s HIS breath that I breathe and that this life is not mine.
As I sang out these words I just wanted more of Jesus. Nothing else mattered, just Him. I wish that I could say that I feel this desire all of the time. I wish that I could tell you that Jesus always comes before the things that I want from life. I want it to be true, but I can’t say that it always is. But as I sang out those words to my Father, as I poured out everything I had in that moment, I experienced, even for a short time, what it was like to just want Him.
I think these moments are glimpses of heaven. I think they are sweet gifts that Jesus gives us in these rare and unexpected times, just when we need them the most. Just when we need to be reminded that He sees us, and He knows us, and that He loves us so very much. I think the line of that song will be my new anthem. I want to remember that this life is not my right but a gift; each breath that I breathe into my lungs, all a gift.
The full version of the song is above, I hope it will bless you like it has and is continuing to bless me. And may you remember that it’s His breath in your lungs.