I have been reading a lot lately. Guess my reading has to do a lot with my desire to know God more and understand him. One of my favourites that I have not been able to put down is Sex God by Rob Bell. He is an amazing communicator. This excerpt made me think a lot about the way I love people and about love….this is what Rob writes…….
“Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don’t want it. That’s why it’s such a crushing ache on the inside. We gave away a part of ourselves and it wasn’t wanted.
Love is a giving away of power. When we love, we give the other person the power in the relationship. They can do what they choose. They can so what they like with our love. They can reject it, they can accept it, they can step toward us in gratitude and appreciation.
Love is a giving away. When we love, we put ourselves out there, we expose ourselves to be vulnerable. Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two – love and controlling power over the other person – are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all of the desires within us to manipulate the relationship.”
Too often I try to have control in my relationships. Come to think of it, I think a lot of us are guilty of that. There is something about having control that gives us this sense of power. Love is giving up control. Hmmm….that’s a powerful statement, a statement which I think has the power to transform our relationships. I guess we see the ultimate example in Jesus. Jesus loved and never demanded control.
I think I have a lot to learn about love!
Learning to love more,
The Kindred Spirit