It is late or should I say early. I am not asleep yet. I seem to have a lot on my mind. Tomorrow is Pitch N’ Praise, I have not packed yet, I will do that tomorrow. I worked tonight, it was slow, not a bad night though.
Sometimes I wonder how the world can be getting better and worse all at the same time. I recently just finished a course called Bible Survey 101. It was basically a course that took me through the whole bible. I really struggled through some of the course, especially certain parts of the Old Testament. I wrestled a lot with the idea that God can both be loving and just. I suppose I have always heard the word “just” and thought mean and harsh, and I never wanted that to be the relationship between God and me. Recently I have come to love and appreciate the fact that I serve a just God. I have been reminded in the last while that I live in a world that is so sinful and I am surrounded by evil. I wonder how people can hurt one another so much. I wonder how people’s hearts can be so hard. It breaks my heart. I see and hear about people who do such evil things to one another and I find myself praying that God would be just and that they would be found in their sin. This is the part of the world that makes me look out my window on a beautiful day and no longer think the day is beautiful. I see the day only for the pain in it, the hurts and cries of the innocent, and for a brief second I question God.
Where are you?
He is there. Then I remember. God is good. Even when things are awful and life hurts, God is good. When there is pain, and anger and questions that don’t ever seem to have an answer, God is good and He is there. When I don’t feel like praising Him, I do it anyways because He is good. I remember that He loves me. I remember that He died for me. I remember that He cries for me. I remember that He holds me. I remember that when life doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t matter because God is in control and He is good. Then for a moment I think about the good things, things that give us passion and push us to find the most out of this life. I think about all the times people blame God for something that happened and they never take the time to look and see how He was at work. These are the things that make me look out my window on a beautiful day and say “Thank You Lord for Life…..oh the possibilities in this day”. In that moment I don’t question God, I just thank Him and revel in the fact that I serve a God who is not only just but who sees me in all my weakness and humanity and still chooses to have a relationship with me.
I suppose somedays the beautiful day really is beautiful and somedays I just see no beauty. Today there was no beauty. Today I felt my heart whisper prayers for justice because today I felt like sin was prevailing. I hope tomorrow I will find some beauty. Evil cannot triumph over every beautiful day. So right now I am choosing that tomorrow, in my own life, evil will lose and good will prevail because God is good. Tomorrow will be a beautiful day, even if it rains.
Tomorrow I am going camping with my friends and we will enjoy God’s beautiful creation and we will meet lots of new people and I will be reminded of how beautiful the day truly is! I will look out my window and say “Thank You Lord for Life…..oh the possibilities in this day”! I pray that you would do the same.
The Kindred Spirit